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Post by NV Oracle on Jul 26, 2009 12:10:51 GMT -10
Yes, normally he does have one, and most times, they work like they're supposed to. I just think he's trying to make this as smooth for Mich as he can. If she's been sensoring herself, all this time, then it would be better to get it out in pieces than trying to get it out all at once. It sounds like it's sort of like trying to talk to a counsilor about a traumatic experience. You can't do it all at once.
Great chapter, Lucy, and terrific wp, too, Chris. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Your friend NV Oracle
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 27, 2009 3:24:59 GMT -10
Horatio gets a little more information.... Which means a few answers for you...
Enjoy
Lucy
Chapter 10
Mich parked her car carefully outside the hospital and went slowly inside to visit Horatio. He had insisted that she return to the barn and continue with her work, partly to give himself time to think over what she had been telling him, but also to give her time to collect her thoughts. At first she had hesitated, but when Horatio became firm, she had given in. As the days passed she had told him more about her life before they had met, stories from places around the world.
“I worked in the cities because it was easier for me to blend in, my cover was often that of a secretary for someone working for an international company. It meant that I had a lot of freedom to move around.”
Horatio understood, “Which was why you used to work at night.”
Mich nodded, “it was an easy way to build my cover, just like here in Miami, I was given a list of targets, then when I was done I would get out.” Of the exact nature of those missions, Mich would not give details, just keeping the talk very general, he could tell that she was finding it difficult, but Mich continued pushing herself to talk.
A short phone call to Derek Foster had confirmed Horatio’s suspicions – Mich had been on the verge of a breakdown not once but several times in her career. Each time her father had been there to help her out, keep her on an even keel. Several times he had tried to delay or cancel missions for MI5, but the service was short of good agents and Mich was pushed to return to the field.
“Mich was one of our best Horatio, but the more I tried to protect her, the more she was needed.”
Horatio had sighed, “And the closer she came to the edge of losing it completely. One thing I don’t understand is why she insisted on working alone. Surely she needed backup?”
Derek fell silent for a few moments, forming his answer carefully, not because he didn’t want to tell Horatio, but because he wasn’t sure how secure the line was. “Something happened on a particular mission, when she came back, Mich insisted that she would only work alone.”
“I don’t know exactly what happened, all I do know was that it changed her character completely. She no longer trusted anyone apart from herself – that’s what she told me, but over time I’ve realised that it’s something deeper than that – because she has trusted some a little, like the Special Forces teams she had to work with occasionally.”
Horatio became thoughtful, recalling something Mich had said a few days before but he was also surprised by Derek’s information, “So you don’t know the full story?”
Derek’s quiet answer made a chill go down Horatio’s spine, “No Horatio, I don’t, which is what worries me. I suspect that she has a psychological disorder, but it’s nothing tangible, nothing was ever picked up in her psych testing – or if it was, the agency chose not to do anything about it. Does she still get nightmares or very depressed?”
Horatio sighed, “The occasional nightmare, but I have noticed that some days she does get very depressed. At first I thought that she was in a bad mood, especially because the staff used to be careful around her. Then I realised that she never actually lost her temper with anyone on those days – if anything she was more careful.”
“She was hiding her true feelings Horatio. By making everyone think she was in a bad mood, it would stop them asking questions if they saw her upset. Mich has a temper, that I don’t deny, but she uses it to conceal the depression. I think its associated with a very painful memory, but I cannot be sure.”
“But why does she hide it? Why won’t she talk about it?”
“I don’t know. I don’t believe that she won’t talk about it – it’s that she COULDN’T talk about it. There is something so deeply locked inside Mich that affects her daily life and slowly but surely it’s eating away at her.” Derek paused, “Horatio, from what you’ve been able to tell me, you know more about her life than anyone else on this planet, including myself and her grandmother who she was able to talk to about a lot of things.”
“What are you saying Derek?”
“Help her Horatio, talking to you will stop her heading for the streets…”
“The streets? I don’t understand.”
Derek sighed, “Horatio, when Mich used to come back from a particularly dangerous mission, or a mission that had been unsuccessful, she would disappear for a short time. I don’t know where she went, but for a couple of days Scotland Yard would find dead drug dealers or pimps lying in alleyways. Not the scum at the bottom, but the big fish – only someone with high security clearance would have known their identities.”
“You think it was Mich?”
“Nothing was ever said – the killings were too random, the MO too different, cases too far apart, no connection was ever made between them. However, I knew Mich, knew how she worked – it was too much of a coincidence.”
Horatio took a deep breath, “You never said anything to anyone – why?”
The answer came quietly back down the line, “Because I had no proof and she was doing the Police a favour. What would you do Horatio? I had to protect my daughter…”
Horatio sank back against his pillows absorbing the news. Quietly he thanked Derek for talking to him and disconnected the line. Was Mich responsible for the killings that Derek had spoken about? He couldn’t see it somehow. The only problem was that there was just one way to get an answer…
Mich had to talk to him about Sasha. More and more he had come to realise that the first Iraq mission had been the turning point in Mich’s life and that the second Iraq mission had compounded the problem as had her life with Jack. Thankfully, that second mission had also made Mich realise she had to get out of her line of work.
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Post by margaret1234 on Jul 27, 2009 3:51:39 GMT -10
Great chapter Lucy. So we now know that MICH is one messed up woman, well we knew she was to some extent but perhaps not this much. Looks like Horatio did the right thing in slowing the talking down a bit, and good he went through to Derek Foster. Even her father couldn't get her to talk...so definitely down to Horatio now. In view of the fact she killed drug dealers and pimps ( if she really did) then my guess is that she was possibly drugged and raped in Iraq.......and if not personlly, she saw something horrific of this nature.
Margaret
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Post by sanne on Jul 27, 2009 7:50:25 GMT -10
Good for H he called Derek. Smart move. But what else to expect from "our" guy than a smart move? ? If the problem involves Sasha, maybe she was forced to watch how they tortured, drugged and raped Shasha? Sandra
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Post by NV Oracle on Jul 27, 2009 8:36:40 GMT -10
It's not going to be easy either to get her to talk, or to hear what she has to say. It's really going to be a humdinger, whatever it is.
Great chapter, Lucy. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Your friend NV Oracle
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 27, 2009 9:07:12 GMT -10
Time for me to get out my Posse I think......
and do I detect a little more understanding for my alter ego....?
Lucy
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Post by sanne on Jul 27, 2009 9:40:58 GMT -10
Of course whatever it is, must have been painful (maybe not physically but mentally anyway), but that doesn't mean she has my sympathy after how she took it out on H and drove him to do what he did: leave everything and everyone he loves most in his life......Oh well...guess H will always have my sympathy, not matter what Sandra
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Post by Dr. Anna McBreadle on Jul 27, 2009 13:14:53 GMT -10
taking out the bad guys is what Mich has been trained to do and taking out drug dealers and pimps must have been her way of dealing with whatever happened in Iraq. i agree that these killings (if it was Mich) must have come about because of her experiances in Iraq and what happened to either herself or Sasha! Horatio did the right thing in confiding in her father as he has given Horatio a bit more insight into Mich's mind! although i don't forgive her for driving Horatio away but i am starting to sympathise with her. letting go of the past can be very difficult, as we all may have experianced at some point of our lives. great chap lucy, just got to wait and see how much Mich will open up to whilst talking to Horatio. luv sam x
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 28, 2009 3:08:25 GMT -10
So Horatio has a little more understanding of Mich... Is it going to help him?
Lucy
Chapter 11
Mich hesitated at the door, she had expected to find Horatio working on his laptop, but he was staring out of the window lost in thought. “Horatio? You ok?”
Her voice attracted his attention and he gave her a smile to remove her concern. It was going to be a tough night. He had asked the nurse to make sure that they weren’t disturbed, knowing that if Mich talked the story was not going to be pleasant.
“Sit down Mich, I’ve been thinking… I’ve found out a lot about you, but you don’t know some things about me. I think you should know.” Before Mich could reply, he began talking about his childhood, growing up with an abusive father, his career with the NYPD and other, more personal matters.
Mich listened, at times Horatio could see the anger on her face but as he continued it would abate, replaced with sympathy and an occasional tear. He talked about cases he had solved – and his satisfaction at being able to put people away. As he spoke, he watched Mich carefully, noting her reaction. The murders she accepted and the gang wars. Cases involving children spiked her anger as he expected as did the abuse cases.
Her reaction to a particular abuse case involving several men and a young woman was particularly severe, but not in the way he expected. He saw the anger crossing her face, but what both intrigued and scared him was the look in her eyes. The colour changed becoming almost grey and Horatio felt that he was being watched by a hunter.
Quietly he changed the subject, “Why did they call you the Wolf? Wolves usually hunt in packs, not alone.”
Mich sighed, distracted from her earlier thoughts. “At first it was a joke because I refused to work with anyone else, then a mission came up that no-one wanted to do due to the risk of being caught. I did it… Afterwards one of the training officers remarked that lone wolves are usually stronger and more dangerous than the average wolf, so people started taking the name more seriously. I guess it stuck.”
Horatio nodded his head in understanding and remained silent for a few moments, debating whether to tell Mich that he had spoken to her father. He decided not to for the moment thinking it might make Mich upset and he wanted her to talk first.
“Were you more dangerous Mich?”
The question was delivered in a light-hearted manner, but Mich did not smile. Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “I was… Too dangerous for anyone else to work with.”
Horatio was stunned into silence as Mich stood up and walked to the window, refusing to make eye contact. “Why do you say that? I can understand your line of work being hazardous but…”
Mich cut him off. “Because I cannot be trusted Horatio… People that I work with get hurt…”
“You haven’t hurt me yet…”
Mich gave him a scornful look, “So why are you in hospital? Why did you get shot?”
“Because I didn’t wait for back-up like I should have.”
“Why didn’t you wait, you normally do.”
“Because I was frustrated, because I didn’t want the suspect to get away.” Horatio was becoming a little annoyed with Mich’s tone; they were descending into an all too common occurrence. A little disagreement would soon turn into a full scale argument.
Mich’s voice surprisingly became softer, diffusing a potentially bad situation. “Why were you frustrated by that Horatio? It’s a bread and butter situation for you… Something that you would deal with easily.”
Horatio sighed, “I was tired Mich, I couldn’t think straight… I hadn’t slept properly since…”
“Since you left the barn… Left me… Trying to work out what went wrong between us distracted you from your work… Nearly got you killed.” Mich returned to the chair at the side of the bed, “You see… it is my fault that you are here.”
Mich dropped her head to the bed but Horatio could see the tears that had started. He wanted to tell her that her logic was twisted, that what had happened was his own fault but couldn’t. Mich would not accept it, not until he had found out what had twisted her logic in the first place.
Gritting his teeth, he took a deep breath and asked the question that needed to be answered. “Tell me about Sasha.”
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Post by pinkyster on Jul 28, 2009 4:42:56 GMT -10
OH my and the plot thickens. So glad to see Horatio getting Mich to talk, I hope it will help and not make her crawl into another hole. But it does seem to be working. Glad that Horatio was able to open up as well. Maybe with both of them opening up, it will make their relationship stronger.
Jen
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Post by sanne on Jul 28, 2009 4:49:07 GMT -10
Ok....so now she's trying to get him back by taking the blame of people getting hurt?........Hmmmm....not sure if I like that idea too much. Sandra
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Post by margaret1234 on Jul 28, 2009 5:10:57 GMT -10
@ Sandra......you had me laughing. Okay, so I happen to agree with you. Horatio is actually being very clever ( born counsellor)......so he opens up himself to persuade her to talk even more, but at one point MICH still had that challenging attitude, which made him realise she is still in the same confrontational sort mood that she always displays, and I for one am glad that this annoyed him. And good for him, he is wasting no more time and has challenged her to talk about Sasha.......will she or, not?
Margaret
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Post by Dr. Anna McBreadle on Jul 28, 2009 7:15:10 GMT -10
changing tactics with Mich by turning it on to himself for a short while could have worked but it didn't seem to have done the trick! maybe talking about what happened to Sasha will help her confront her past and get on with the future! but i could be wrong (i've said it before and i'll say it again) i usually am! great chap lucy! looking forward to hearing what Mich has to say next! luv sam x
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Post by NV Oracle on Jul 28, 2009 8:30:17 GMT -10
Very well done, Lucy. Loved how Horatio used his own past to try to help her talk about what she's thinking. I'm not sure either if it's a good thing that she's thinking she's the one responsible for him being in the hospital. Normally that's H's MO, not hers.
Great chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Your friend NV Oracle
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 29, 2009 3:29:29 GMT -10
So what will Mich tell Horatio...? Its not going to be nice....
Lucy
Chapter 12
Mich looked up and stared at Horatio, her tears stopping in surprise at his softly spoken request. “She was my best friend, why do you want to know about her?”
“Because you told me that after Iraq you refused to work with anyone. Before and during Iraq you worked with Sasha and other agents. Iraq was the turning point Mich. What happened there changed the way you worked and probably changed you.”
Horatio saw Mich swallow, saw her fighting with herself. When the answer came, it was with a cold, flat tone of voice, “Sasha died in Iraq Horatio. I’ve told you that before.”
Once again Mich stood and walked to the window, refusing to look at him. Horatio was now convinced that Sasha and what happened in Iraq were the key – especially after what Derek had told him. The problem was Mich’s tone of voice indicated that she was afraid to talk about it.
Carefully Horatio eased himself out of bed. He hadn’t needed the drip for several days and slowly his knee was beginning to heal, though the doc had warned him that he’d probably limp for the rest of his life. Carefully he walked across the room until he stood behind Mich, but didn’t touch her.
“Mich?”
She swallowed, “Horatio… I’m scared… Will you ask me the questions? Please be careful… I’m not sure if I can control this… Though I will try, you listening to me has helped so much already.”
“How did it happen Mich? How did Sasha die?”
Mich shook her head, unable to answer the direct questions. Horatio changed his ideas a little, deciding to use a more indirect route, seeing her fearful reflection in the glass of the window. “Was she a casualty of war Mich? Was she killed by the prison guards? Killed as part of the torture?”
Still Mich could not answer, but Horatio was not going to stop now as he saw Mich battling her emotions, wanting to answer him. Step by step he offered several scenarios, each time Mich shaking her head or denying his suggestions. Light dawned, by asking her closed questions he was getting slight answers from Mich and he could narrow down the options.
“Was it accidental?” Again Mich shook her head, but a look crossed her face that gave Horatio a clue. “On purpose?”
For the first time in almost half an hour Horatio got a positive answer. Yet as she answered him with a quiet yes, he noticed the look in her eyes change once more. He went back to the original line of questioning.
“By the guards?”
“No.”
“As part of the torture?”
“No.”
“Friendly fire?”
Mich’s eyes closed briefly, before she answered in a voice so quiet he could barely hear her, “yes.”
“During a bombing raid.”
“No.”
“Mistaken identity from an allied soldier?”
“No.”
Horatio was at a loss for a moment, until a thought came into his mind. “She knew who killed her?”
Mich said nothing, a look of acceptance forming on her face as she realised that Horatio had come to a conclusion. For the first time Horatio saw the pain that Mich had been carrying for over 15 years, but he still had to get her to acknowledge to him what had happened.
“She died in the Iraqi prison?”
“Yes. Well, kind of.”
“Killed by someone she knew?”
Mich swallowed, “Yes.”
Horatio moved slightly causing Mich to look up at him, the tears forming in her eyes giving away her final answer. “Did you kill her Mich? Did you kill your best friend?”
As Mich broke down, Horatio pulled her close. Finally he had managed to get Mich to open up, but he knew that the worst was yet to come.
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