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Post by ohiogranny on Apr 7, 2009 17:56:16 GMT -10
This had to be a difficult thing for you to do, Krystal. Thank you for your openness and please know your response touched my heart. These dialogs of ours work best when we all remember to respect each others differing points of view and when we respond from an attitude of kindness. We can only be held responsible for what we actually write; we are not responsible for how someone else may interpret those words. Our ages are so varied, that there is bound to be "generation gap" misunderstandings from time to time. I also think that those of us who only know English, take it for granted that those who speak and write in another language, understand English as well as they do their own tongue. This is not always the case and we need to be aware of that.
Sandra had a great idea. Wouldn't it be a hoot if those very Playboy questions could be answered by Mr. Caruso again. He'd probably shake his head over a few of his responses, but he could also feel today the same way he did "back then" about other statements he made. It is his "journey" that I find so fascinating about him; he just keeps dusting himself off and starting all over again --- the definition of persistence and that is an admirable trait, both in him and in you.
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Post by sanne on Apr 7, 2009 19:26:17 GMT -10
In that case I guess he should just get the questions, not the answers and compare the interviews when he's finished answering them now.............Wonder how different or how alike the answers would be and how Mr. Caruso himself would react to the differences/similarities in the answers. Sandra
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Post by theonemcp on Apr 8, 2009 2:02:22 GMT -10
oh my, great discussion here. But I don't wan think about where I was 15 years ago. I'm not the youngest user here, but I'm one of the younger ones with my almost 26 years even 10 yrs ago I had views I see now as a bit troubling and that will be true for sure for some of the views I have right now, when I look at them in years to come. We all change over time, more or less, and change we should. I'm far from experienced and I hope I will learn much things, where I still lack. We change that is true for DC as for everyone else. However it doesn'change everything about us over time. fundamental things always remain. But hopefully we (and others exposed to it) learn to cope with it. And I just wanted to say I don't want to offend anyone, I just convey my views on things and they are far from perfect. And I hope I produce no misunderstandings, because I'm no native speaker ;D There is one song where the lyrics are more like a poem. It is originally in german, but I hope the translation still conveys the meaning. It's about a young boy/man coming to a lake, where an old man is sitting at the shore (quitly smoking, thoughtful maybe). Young one is bored and throws a stone into the smooth water. Old man isn't angry, but looks sadly at the young one, takes a fan and makes the water smooth again. Young man is thinking about asking the old one whats up with all the fan etc. and eventually he dares to ask and the old man answers: "The water shall be your mirror only when it is smooth will you see how many fairy tales are left for you and you will plead for salvation"(you can google for it, if you really want to know where it is taken from ) I know it is rather depressing look on life, but for me it helps me to get back on track, when my mind tries fly too high. like icarus did and paid the ultimate price for it. You may need patience to take a look at your life and review it. This patience you may only get when you get wiser (with age?). The experience may also be scary, cause you may see on how many lies your life may be built on. DC surely changed over the years, but some things stayed the same (and always will). We all can just hope to learn to cope with our flaws (and that of others)
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laguna
Junior Member
[ss:Gold&BrownDavid1]
Posts: 60
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Post by laguna on Apr 8, 2009 3:12:08 GMT -10
I am puzzled by the negative reactions to this article.I think David has probably mellowed with age but I don't think he will have changed that much.It sounds like he put alot of thought into his replies and has analysed his own character and the effect he may have on others. His intensityand control freak tendencies are all part of David's appeal and that of Horatio's. David was pointing out his flaws himself -he realises that it isn't always possible or desirable to be the boss but it is something he struggles with. I enjoyed reading this interview again and thought David came over well -intelligent,vibrant and passionate. Don't know if I count as a senior member-I am 50 Love Mandy
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Post by theonemcp on Apr 8, 2009 3:43:44 GMT -10
hmm .. that is exactly what I tried to say ;D when I take a look at the man i favor fictional/non-fictional almost all of them are like that. They are "difficult" and that may never change. And I'm not sure if would like it to change. Even if they are aware of that. And this awareness may only come with age or when/if they get wiser. If they are aware of it they can seek for ways to channel the "passion" in ways they do not harm people (they like or love) too much. I don't mind if someone is a bit excentric, if he/she has really talent (and wants all to be perfect). if he knows, why not show it then? But I get more than irritated when some gets arrogant, were in fact he/she is just showing off
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Post by sanne on Apr 8, 2009 3:46:43 GMT -10
Age doesn't matter, Mandy.......I think it's the sum of your experiences in life that make you respond to questions (like in this interview) or react to situations the way you do. And the things you experience in life or what you do with/learn from those experiences, have nothing to do with age...... Sandra
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Post by theonemcp on Apr 8, 2009 3:52:39 GMT -10
age doesn't matter really. Thats why I put "age" with question mark behind it. But it may take some time to get a certain amount of experience For some more time, for others less ...
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Post by ohiogranny on Apr 8, 2009 5:41:45 GMT -10
theonemcp: First let me say thank you for the wonderful response you wrote early this morning. What a great message that song conveys. I'm sure it has touched many as it has touched you. At 71, I am most certainly one of the senior members of this board. But if wisdom comes with age, I am still waiting for that one to "kick in". I seem destined to learn from my mistakes, like most of us do; making the same mistake twice is something I seldom do --- maybe that's where the wisdom enters the equation. Take yesterday, for example (my face is still red with embarrassment): I took my 2002 Buick in for servicing. I noticed it still had less than 10,000 miles on the odometer. I thought that was pretty low mileage but I did not analyze it too much because I have also been driving my husband's car. After the oil was changed, a new filter installed, etc. I payed the bill and started home. I noticed I now had 35,000 + miles on the odometer ---- so I called the garage and asked why the big change??? Gosh, the poor fellow who answered me was trying so hard not to laugh; I'm sure he remembered he was talking to an "old lady" and his voice took on a respectful attitude. "You had your odometer switched over to the "trip mileage" mode; all I did was to reset it to the actual car mileage reading." I had totally forgotten that my car even had that capability! Jeez, for stupid. So you see, for me becoming older simply means trading one kind of stupid for another! Some of us, and I suspect Mr. Caruso is one of these, are just "slow bloomers" all our lives. Karen
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Post by sanne on Apr 8, 2009 5:53:34 GMT -10
Karen, don't worry.....that would surely happen to me as well....especially since I have absolutely NO knowledge when it comes to cars..........and I'm "only" 38......... Sandra
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Post by Lindy on Apr 8, 2009 11:28:32 GMT -10
Actually Karen, I don't know how to get the d**n thing on to "trip meter" and if I do find it, I can't revert back! lol! I need your mechainic!
Interesting discussion everyone. Krystal, thanks for sharing all of that. I miss those "books" .
I think my thoughts are reflected in many of the above comments. That David Caruso had that open interview and reflected on his struggles at that time is really admirable as far as I am concerned. And yes, I suspect his answers would be different now but just as thoughtful.
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Post by sunshine68 on Apr 8, 2009 14:36:41 GMT -10
well, since I stirred the hornet's nest to begin with, I'll say this - I've been fans of certain rock stars - adored their music but didn't always agree with how they conducted themselves outside the studio (for example, I will not ever condone drug use or disrespect in any form). Does that make me a lesser fan because I disagree with these facets of their lives? I don't think so. I personally feel that I am still very much a fan no matter what... I don't have to agree with every aspect of the person in their personal life. Is that wrong? Part of me feels some of you feel it is wrong. I suppose my views hail back to my early days where traditional views were taught - I respected all people no matter where they came from, what color their skin, or how rich or poor they were. I hung out with the outcasts and learned a great deal about diversity - and I am still not done learning. Krystal, your post was incredibly touching and enlightening - I was was raised to honor the Golden Rule as taught in my faith - however, I've fallen away from my church for various reasons (and I think it would be a blast to chat with DC about) - but I am still a spiritual person. I've seen a terrible lack of respect among my fellow citizens - it's a rarity in today's society to find someone with good honest respecting values - sad to say - and it could just be due to the area I am living in - the 'rat race' in northeast USA. I really didn't think my response to the article should have gotten folks in such an uproar - I offered my views on it and yes was critical of Mr. Caruso's statements due to his responses - I'd want to believe my fave stars and musicians and sports stars were respectable people - how one presents oneself in public has lasting implications when in the "lime light". To me, I see so many kids influenced by and modeling the behaviors and attitudes they see their fave stars of music, sports, and TV/movies doing. Did DC offer open honest responses? Sure he did. Were they actually his? Who's really to say - they come to us via a 'middle man'. Would his views be different today? One can only guess. I truly would LOVE the opportunity to speak face to face with him - on all aspects of that article and beyond. I 'chatted' via email with another fan on how truly engaging I think it would be to talk with him one on one. It's obvious he has great ability to be very articulate and intelligent when speaking - would I still agree with him in some of his views? Quite possibly not and that might be the great fun of the conversation - to pick his brain even if the conversation got a little heated. If folks come away with a better understanding, and can respect each other - even if they strongly oppose each other's views - then that's most important in my eyes. We don't all have to agree - but agree to disagree. Yes, I've made my mistakes - I've 'spoken out' via the "Net" in the heat of the moment and regret it later (although I have tried very hard to read what I write prior to actually posting it -yet, I'm still just a flawed imperfect human who is bound to make mistakes and errors in judgment - yet, I'm the first to honor further conversation to 'clear the air' and engage in discussion to garner a deeper understanding to foster respect filled friendships. Some prefer to turn away and cast judgment without trying to make amends and in my eyes - NOTHING is too great not to find a way to fix it. If Mr. Caruso 'copped an attitude' in my presence - you bet I'd be the first to call him on it as I would anyone. I'm now teaching students just how important it is to not act like they are better than others - to treat each other with respect even if they disagree - and if mistakes are made (and I try to do this myself) to fess up and take responsibility for their actions. The world would be a better place in the end. I thank everyone for 'listening' and I do enjoy the ability to engage in such discussions without having them completely fall to shards as I have experienced elsewhere... it's truly enlightening I do apologize for the length of my post - I do tend to get "long winded" trying to cover all the bases... so please accept my apologies in the length of my replies... I don't mean to bore you...
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Post by sanne on Apr 8, 2009 19:28:05 GMT -10
Don't know if you felt "bad" about me/my posts, but I never meant to offend, hurt or doubt you. To clear things up: you are not the only one who feels you can be a fan of someone without approving all he/she does or says in his/her life. I don't agree with some of Mr. Caruso's habits (as far as we know the truth about them) and I don't always agree with all he says in interviews and that goes for this interview as well. Doesn't mean I can't be a fan....on the contrary......there are still a lot of things to like about him and a lot of things he does or says that I think are very good. What I tried to do is to look at this interview as if we were still living back then.......put the answers in the light of his life and the community as it was back then. And I'm old enough to know what the world was like 15 years ago And of course I don't know whether his answers would be very different nowadays or not, but on some points I hope they do, as it would mean he has grown and learned over the past 15 years. Again, if I have offended or hurt you, or made you feel as if I was doubting you, I'm really sorry as that has never been my intention. Sandra
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Post by anastasia on Apr 8, 2009 22:01:34 GMT -10
I think that sometimes fans tend to hero worship the star they like for no other reason but what they have in their minds, what they created in their minds about them. This could be 100% wrong or not so much. But first and foremost actors, singers, artists are humans, and usually (definitely not always) sensitive people. I want to believe that as more the talent the more the sensitivity is as well. And who are those who make the biggest mistakes (about their own lives)? Those who have raised sensitivity to an art… I like David Caruso as an actor but I will most probably lie to myself if I say I know him as a human being, but I ‘grant’ him the right to do (and say) what he wants in his life as long as it is law-abiding. No one is perfect! Why should he? We grew up and learnt from our mistakes, some more than others, but we mostly hurt ourselves in the process and in David Caruso’s case I think IF (I repeat IF) anyone was hurt by his actions, knew very well where they had gotten themselves into from before. And if he hasn’t learnt from his mistakes, well so be it, he is an old man ready to take his responsibilities… Now, do we have the right to criticize? For as long as he talks in public I think we do! But sometimes we shouldn’t forget what kind of persona the actor wants to show off each time (even though I don’t believe that was the case in this interview!) Oh I really hope I make some sense here…. Anastasia
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Post by maggie on Apr 8, 2009 23:54:18 GMT -10
The only thing I am going to say here is .... none of us are perfect no matter who we are . As I am now 62 when I look back there are things I have said and done in my early days that I most probably would not do now but hey that was then ( my rebelious youth ) now although there are many things that are the same about me there are many that are not ... just the process of learning , exploration and finding your yourself ... I don't know but I hope that I have learned by some of the mistakes also that those mistakes have made me a better person today ... As I have said many times before IT WOULD BE A STRANGE AND BORING WORLD IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME .... We are all individuals and are all entitled to our views even though some others may not agree with them . Take care all maggie
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Post by theonemcp on Apr 9, 2009 0:07:51 GMT -10
I think that sometimes fans tend to hero worship the star they like for no other reason but what they have in their minds, what they created in their minds about them. This could be 100% wrong or not so much. But first and foremost actors, singers, artists are humans, and usually (definitely not always) sensitive people. I want to believe that as more the talent the more the sensitivity is as well. And who are those who make the biggest mistakes (about their own lives)? Those who have raised sensitivity to an art… well said most "artists" are sensitive. thats kind of an precondition. and you are even more right with: more talent, more sensitive. I'm not talented in any way, but still I'm picky and it is almost horible to watch or when someone dares to critizise your "baby". I know about that flaw, but I still do it. I just can't help it, even if I try it doesn't work everytime. Maybe thats why I still don't like such attitude, but it is easier to accept it in others, cause I know how that feels like. that doesn't mean that I like it when I'm a target of such an outburst though. It may convey as disrespect, but most of the time it isn't meant that way. It's just pure hurt coming to the surface and you just can't find a better way to cope with it at that exact moment. some may think that the lack of ability to cope with critisim is childish. And I can see were that comes from. But if it results from sensitivity? is senstivity childish too? sensitivity can result in so many beautiful things. But most of the time it is just a pain in the ass, not just for the people around us. even if people know you for such a long time and they know how to handle you, tame the beast so to speak, it's still hard work and it doesn't work everytime. We all have our flaws, but these flaws don't make us bad persons automatically. it depends I still believe that DC is a kind person at heart (regardless of what he may do or say sometimes) and that is what counts for me. If I react like that just because I think I can relate to it, so be it then sry for the harsh words, but I just had to get it off me ;D
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