Post by Cammie Moonites on Feb 14, 2009 4:03:35 GMT -10
This is another Role Play post, that I may create into a story later... Horatio dealing with everything he's been through, and almost taking his own life...
Depressing I know, but I've been feeling alot of what he's feeling and Writing is the only way I know how to express it..
-Enjoy.
(Lyrics - "Savin' Me" - Nickelback)
----------
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Horatio stood, staring into the ocean blue of the water. Old battle wounds still covered the man's face, bruises that where fading-
What did he have left, he wondered as he stood along the beach, watching the tide come in, and then recede.
There was nothing left for him, in this life... or the next, and he knew, he'd end up in the deepest bowels of hell. -- For all the lives he'd taken, for all the pain he'd caused -
He unlocked his holster that lay against his right hip. Pulled the .48 Sig Sauer Semi-automatic pistol - that he'd had since he'd entered the academy in New York. That had the blood of more men than he could count, and women too.
Children... he'd shot them all, - in the line of duty of course... or maybe that was just his excuse. For some reason he'd shot them.. and one way or another, there was no excuse for it.
He shifted as he stood, staring into the reflection of someone he did not know. Someone he almost was afraid of.. the demon inside of him.. -- His father.
Horatio Caine had lost everything, there was no determination in him, no need and desire to be the man he'd worked so hard to prove he was.
---
He pulled the pistol to his chin, and teased the trigger.. The suicide note he'd written was in the glove box of the hummer.. he knew someone would find it..---
It was already over for me....there was no need to pretend you where saving me, none of you, had the right...nor the ability... I am my own person, dealing with my own demons... this is the only way, to set myself, free from the pain, and suffering I've delt with my whole entire life....
He hoped one of the CSI's he'd mentored would.. it would destroy anyone who found it..
It was indeed too late for him.. -- he thought as he teased the trigger again.. but wasnt able to pull it.. wasnt able to push himself to that extreme.
Not yet...
Kyle...
He had become a father only a year prior, and yet, his son wanted nothing. Nothing - to do with him.
And then there was Juila. Whom had caused him so much pain, for the love of a woman - who didnt even know who he really was... just his undercover identification.. John Walden.
What kind of man.. he wondered, went undercover, slept with a woman, got her pregnant, and then dissapeared.
And the answer hit him with physical force.
Raymond Caine, Horatio Caine, Jarred Caine.
His brother, and his father, and now him.. it was only going to end up happening, he realized...
He shifted again and - put the pistol to his abdomen.. maybe he should make himself bleed slow and painfully.. he wondered. Slow, and painfully, just like all the people he'd killed, or let die, had.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'[/i]
Horatio shifted as he stood again, and wanted so badly to take his own life... he teased the trigger at his waist....wanted it....knew the gun would go off if he tempted it any longer... why was he delaying...
BOOOM!
And it did - The bullet pierced his flesh. Pulled all the way through and into his ribcage, sending him, falling to the ground, and his blood pooling below in the sand, washed away by the water, every time the tide rose, and died....
And he stare up.. at the clouds, as they burn into his brain, wondering if it was the last thing he'd ever see.. wondering if he'd live.. and he knew he wouldnt..
Knew, that this was the end...
Of...
Horatio Caine.
Depressing I know, but I've been feeling alot of what he's feeling and Writing is the only way I know how to express it..
-Enjoy.
(Lyrics - "Savin' Me" - Nickelback)
----------
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Horatio stood, staring into the ocean blue of the water. Old battle wounds still covered the man's face, bruises that where fading-
What did he have left, he wondered as he stood along the beach, watching the tide come in, and then recede.
There was nothing left for him, in this life... or the next, and he knew, he'd end up in the deepest bowels of hell. -- For all the lives he'd taken, for all the pain he'd caused -
He unlocked his holster that lay against his right hip. Pulled the .48 Sig Sauer Semi-automatic pistol - that he'd had since he'd entered the academy in New York. That had the blood of more men than he could count, and women too.
Children... he'd shot them all, - in the line of duty of course... or maybe that was just his excuse. For some reason he'd shot them.. and one way or another, there was no excuse for it.
He shifted as he stood, staring into the reflection of someone he did not know. Someone he almost was afraid of.. the demon inside of him.. -- His father.
Horatio Caine had lost everything, there was no determination in him, no need and desire to be the man he'd worked so hard to prove he was.
---
He pulled the pistol to his chin, and teased the trigger.. The suicide note he'd written was in the glove box of the hummer.. he knew someone would find it..---
It was already over for me....there was no need to pretend you where saving me, none of you, had the right...nor the ability... I am my own person, dealing with my own demons... this is the only way, to set myself, free from the pain, and suffering I've delt with my whole entire life....
He hoped one of the CSI's he'd mentored would.. it would destroy anyone who found it..
It was indeed too late for him.. -- he thought as he teased the trigger again.. but wasnt able to pull it.. wasnt able to push himself to that extreme.
Not yet...
Kyle...
He had become a father only a year prior, and yet, his son wanted nothing. Nothing - to do with him.
And then there was Juila. Whom had caused him so much pain, for the love of a woman - who didnt even know who he really was... just his undercover identification.. John Walden.
What kind of man.. he wondered, went undercover, slept with a woman, got her pregnant, and then dissapeared.
And the answer hit him with physical force.
Raymond Caine, Horatio Caine, Jarred Caine.
His brother, and his father, and now him.. it was only going to end up happening, he realized...
He shifted again and - put the pistol to his abdomen.. maybe he should make himself bleed slow and painfully.. he wondered. Slow, and painfully, just like all the people he'd killed, or let die, had.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'[/i]
Horatio shifted as he stood again, and wanted so badly to take his own life... he teased the trigger at his waist....wanted it....knew the gun would go off if he tempted it any longer... why was he delaying...
BOOOM!
And it did - The bullet pierced his flesh. Pulled all the way through and into his ribcage, sending him, falling to the ground, and his blood pooling below in the sand, washed away by the water, every time the tide rose, and died....
And he stare up.. at the clouds, as they burn into his brain, wondering if it was the last thing he'd ever see.. wondering if he'd live.. and he knew he wouldnt..
Knew, that this was the end...
Of...
Horatio Caine.