Post by Cammie Moonites on Jan 7, 2009 11:10:46 GMT -10
So I was sitting on youtube watching random vidoes of Horatio and Marisol and thought what the heck I'll write something about her funeral because it wasnt on the show.
I hope you enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------
~x Innocence x~
-----------------------
He stood alone at her funeral, hours too early.
He was staring into the cold closed eyes of the dead, his wife.
Held her picture, in his hand..
Closed his eyes, and fell to the ground just in front of the casket.
There was a reason he’d come alone, and this no doubt was it.
Tears fell down his scarred face, fell onto the hardwood floor, under him,
stained his pants, and his shirt, he weep for the first time,
since the day before.. the day he’d held her hand as she died.
Above him lay his wife, beaten and broken,
and death,
he’d seen so many times, but this was so different to him, this, was personal, just like every other case, just like every other person he’d seen shot, or abused.
No, this was personal.
Above him lay his wife.
She looked good, for not having any life within her. But it wasn’t the Marisol he knew, the Marisol he loved. No, it wasn’t Marisol at all, just an empty shell for to hold a soul. Her soul, his…
Where both gone.
When did my job, mold into my life, when did I allow the two to become one. When did Marisol get wrapped up in my life, and yet, I allowed her to die- Because of my mistakes, she is laying here, above me. And yet, I have not sought revenge, I have not, tracked down her killer, I stand here.. wondering… when will I take action… or if I can for that matter.
He slowly and shakily pulled himself upright. Stare into her closed eyes, at her frozen body.
Why- Her, and not him.
Why- When she was fighting so hard to live, her life was taken.
When- When did it all turn into this, all turn into this hellish thing h called life.
There was no solace as he stood his hands on his hips his eyes narrowed, no solace as he looked down at the one he loved and knew it wasn’t her. Wasn’t his Marisol.
The woman he’d married was not in this room, she was not laying in front of him.
In the hours previous to his arrival, he’d not been granted solace for his sin, to him it was the ultimate sin, letting her die, and he’d dreamt about it, had nightmares, about it, and he knew, without a doubt it should be him lying there.
Him, who’d lost his life.
But-
Who was behind him…
He turned and saw his brother in law.
The wet from the tears had yet to dry. And he dare not wipe them away. There was no badge, no gun on him this day. There was no reason for it. If security had failed Marisol his own would fail him.
He shifted his weight but said no words,
There were no words to console his brother,
no words to say that would take away the pain either men where feeling.
He watched as his brother in law approached him, approached her,
and narrowed his eyes, trying to hide his own pain.
More people poured into the room, of the church, at Holy Redeemer,-
More people than he’d thought.
He’d paid for all of it, he knew, and
didn’t realize there would be this much outcry for his wife.
For his brother in law’s sister.
But it didn’t matter the cost, his wife was dead.
Seats where taken, him and his brother in law in front, Marisol’s parents beside them,
It was like one of their own had gone down in the line of duty, and it almost felt that way.
Slowly he stood, Horatio Caine
Walked up beside his beloved wife.. to speak about her,
he’d no words prepared, planned to speak from the heart.
And that’s exactly what he did.
We lost someone dear to all of us.. yesterday. He started, holding his composure well.
The line between sanity and insanity broke moments later.
And those saline tears started down the man’s face.
My wife, your daughter, your best friend, your sister, your niece, your aunt.
We lost someone precious to us all.
Marisol was an angel, who’d spent her time here, attempting to live. Attempting to try her hardest to survive, and even, even on that dreadful day, she still fought to live. To live.
He paused, and looked over.
But she, she couldn’t hold on long enough. Medical technology couldn’t save the one I love…couldn’t save her..
Marisol was an angel.
She was my gift, a savior in disguise.
And now, that loneliness creeps in with me at night, and nightmares force themselves into my mind.
I held her, as she die. I held her hand, and we spoke… and just like that, just like that she was gone.
She slipped through my hands, my angel did..
I let her die, that day, and I failed our family.
He stopped, guilt clutching at his stomach, needing to say more but not knowing if he’d the strength.
Please do not misunderstand what I am saying. For I hold myself, and myself only responsible. And those, who’d taken her life. But it comes down to it being me, the cause of her death, the reason she is not here today. Whom stands here in front of you all, bearing the widowers ring on his finger.
He stopped, and hung his head on his shoulders allowing tears to hit the podium.
There was not control over his emotions now, as he stood, his body shuddered, and quaked with the guilt and pain, of a husband who’d lost his angel.
He looked at Eric, and saw that look, that he was saying it wasn’t his fault, but deep down he knew it was, and knew he’d have to live with it the rest of his life.
Horatio tempted himself to step down, but he couldn’t. Not yet.
I am the only one, to blame for your daughter’s death, the only one to blame for the loss of your sister.
He stopped again, its not what she would have wanted.. he realized.
Marisol, was my lover, she was my best friend, and she knew how much she meant to me. And with a heavy heart I step down, and look at her one, last time.
The barrier between sanity and insanity broke again, and he stepped down, and lean into the casket. Holding her, kissing her…
The sobs came forward now as he kiss her lips, touch her cheek.. his tears hitting her lifeless form.
He didn’t stop them, for he knew they’d pull him off of her.
And they did.
If only he knew what lay ahead of him in the weeks that lie in the future.
Horatio Caine back off, and move toward the back, and out the door, needing air, for he almost had taken his life the night prior, but that, would end up being his dirty little secret.
He stood, looking at the sky, praying she could hear his words.. heard him speak. On her behalf.
Eric followed him outside.
The sun was shining, his body was still shuddering..
Its going to rain today he said weakly.
Eric looked at him his own eyes narrowed, realized he didn’t mean the weather.
“H?”
Horatio stood staring up at the clouds, tears falling from his face… onto the pavement below them…
Indeed, it rained that day..
And a man stand broken, to the core……
Horatio Caine.
I hope you enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------
~x Innocence x~
-----------------------
He stood alone at her funeral, hours too early.
He was staring into the cold closed eyes of the dead, his wife.
Held her picture, in his hand..
Closed his eyes, and fell to the ground just in front of the casket.
There was a reason he’d come alone, and this no doubt was it.
Tears fell down his scarred face, fell onto the hardwood floor, under him,
stained his pants, and his shirt, he weep for the first time,
since the day before.. the day he’d held her hand as she died.
Above him lay his wife, beaten and broken,
and death,
he’d seen so many times, but this was so different to him, this, was personal, just like every other case, just like every other person he’d seen shot, or abused.
No, this was personal.
Above him lay his wife.
She looked good, for not having any life within her. But it wasn’t the Marisol he knew, the Marisol he loved. No, it wasn’t Marisol at all, just an empty shell for to hold a soul. Her soul, his…
Where both gone.
When did my job, mold into my life, when did I allow the two to become one. When did Marisol get wrapped up in my life, and yet, I allowed her to die- Because of my mistakes, she is laying here, above me. And yet, I have not sought revenge, I have not, tracked down her killer, I stand here.. wondering… when will I take action… or if I can for that matter.
He slowly and shakily pulled himself upright. Stare into her closed eyes, at her frozen body.
Why- Her, and not him.
Why- When she was fighting so hard to live, her life was taken.
When- When did it all turn into this, all turn into this hellish thing h called life.
There was no solace as he stood his hands on his hips his eyes narrowed, no solace as he looked down at the one he loved and knew it wasn’t her. Wasn’t his Marisol.
The woman he’d married was not in this room, she was not laying in front of him.
In the hours previous to his arrival, he’d not been granted solace for his sin, to him it was the ultimate sin, letting her die, and he’d dreamt about it, had nightmares, about it, and he knew, without a doubt it should be him lying there.
Him, who’d lost his life.
But-
Who was behind him…
He turned and saw his brother in law.
The wet from the tears had yet to dry. And he dare not wipe them away. There was no badge, no gun on him this day. There was no reason for it. If security had failed Marisol his own would fail him.
He shifted his weight but said no words,
There were no words to console his brother,
no words to say that would take away the pain either men where feeling.
He watched as his brother in law approached him, approached her,
and narrowed his eyes, trying to hide his own pain.
More people poured into the room, of the church, at Holy Redeemer,-
More people than he’d thought.
He’d paid for all of it, he knew, and
didn’t realize there would be this much outcry for his wife.
For his brother in law’s sister.
But it didn’t matter the cost, his wife was dead.
Seats where taken, him and his brother in law in front, Marisol’s parents beside them,
It was like one of their own had gone down in the line of duty, and it almost felt that way.
Slowly he stood, Horatio Caine
Walked up beside his beloved wife.. to speak about her,
he’d no words prepared, planned to speak from the heart.
And that’s exactly what he did.
We lost someone dear to all of us.. yesterday. He started, holding his composure well.
The line between sanity and insanity broke moments later.
And those saline tears started down the man’s face.
My wife, your daughter, your best friend, your sister, your niece, your aunt.
We lost someone precious to us all.
Marisol was an angel, who’d spent her time here, attempting to live. Attempting to try her hardest to survive, and even, even on that dreadful day, she still fought to live. To live.
He paused, and looked over.
But she, she couldn’t hold on long enough. Medical technology couldn’t save the one I love…couldn’t save her..
Marisol was an angel.
She was my gift, a savior in disguise.
And now, that loneliness creeps in with me at night, and nightmares force themselves into my mind.
I held her, as she die. I held her hand, and we spoke… and just like that, just like that she was gone.
She slipped through my hands, my angel did..
I let her die, that day, and I failed our family.
He stopped, guilt clutching at his stomach, needing to say more but not knowing if he’d the strength.
Please do not misunderstand what I am saying. For I hold myself, and myself only responsible. And those, who’d taken her life. But it comes down to it being me, the cause of her death, the reason she is not here today. Whom stands here in front of you all, bearing the widowers ring on his finger.
He stopped, and hung his head on his shoulders allowing tears to hit the podium.
There was not control over his emotions now, as he stood, his body shuddered, and quaked with the guilt and pain, of a husband who’d lost his angel.
He looked at Eric, and saw that look, that he was saying it wasn’t his fault, but deep down he knew it was, and knew he’d have to live with it the rest of his life.
Horatio tempted himself to step down, but he couldn’t. Not yet.
I am the only one, to blame for your daughter’s death, the only one to blame for the loss of your sister.
He stopped again, its not what she would have wanted.. he realized.
Marisol, was my lover, she was my best friend, and she knew how much she meant to me. And with a heavy heart I step down, and look at her one, last time.
The barrier between sanity and insanity broke again, and he stepped down, and lean into the casket. Holding her, kissing her…
The sobs came forward now as he kiss her lips, touch her cheek.. his tears hitting her lifeless form.
He didn’t stop them, for he knew they’d pull him off of her.
And they did.
If only he knew what lay ahead of him in the weeks that lie in the future.
Horatio Caine back off, and move toward the back, and out the door, needing air, for he almost had taken his life the night prior, but that, would end up being his dirty little secret.
He stood, looking at the sky, praying she could hear his words.. heard him speak. On her behalf.
Eric followed him outside.
The sun was shining, his body was still shuddering..
Its going to rain today he said weakly.
Eric looked at him his own eyes narrowed, realized he didn’t mean the weather.
“H?”
Horatio stood staring up at the clouds, tears falling from his face… onto the pavement below them…
Indeed, it rained that day..
And a man stand broken, to the core……
Horatio Caine.
