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Post by margaret1234 on Jul 24, 2009 5:06:23 GMT -10
As a mattter of fact Lucy, yes I do. For a relationship to work, if you profess to love someone, then there has to be total trust between you. Horatio, has often tried to steady the waters, but history says Mich continually falls down in this regard. I am ignoring memories of S&P here at the moment.
She has admitted that Horatio stepped into the void.....thus putting up with all her tantrums.......so does she really love him, or just need him back to fill the void again. If, it was was one of her tantrums that finally took H away then it is her own fault. A person can only take so much, before enough is enough. Come on MICH.....total trust.......for goodness sake Horatio is a Lt. in the police force....he will never betray anyone, let alone someone he loves.
Margaret
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Post by sanne on Jul 24, 2009 5:10:23 GMT -10
I don't know if it's that easy, never been there and hopefully never will. But I do know H is the one, AGAIN, as so many times before, who's the one trying to actually solve it. Where in fact Mich should be the one who should give it all she has, no matter how difficult that'll be. Don't forget this is difficult for H as well: he didn't go away because things were going so smoothly. He left because he felt things had to change to make the relation work and a part of those changes are definatly in Mich's attitude. He wanted to have some time alone to think and probably hoping Mich would start thinking as well and now, when he's not able to leave her, Mich is doing the same she's always done: lock herself away. And that's not fair. Sorry, I don't think Mich has won my sympathy, at least not yet..... Sandra
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Post by NV Oracle on Jul 24, 2009 8:21:08 GMT -10
Well, ladies, I'm not entirely on Mich's side, but to a degree, I understand where she's coming from. I've never been in the military, so I don't know the training that goes into a person at that level, but.......
My biological father was abusive, and one time, during that period, he and I got into this arguement, and during the course of it, I threatened that I would tell on him for what he was doing. He told me that if anyone ever came to him, and confronted him, that he would know that I had told, and he then threatened that he would make me watch while he killed Mom, and my younger brother, slowly and painfully.......
Even now, it is extremely difficult to talk about, not because I think he might carry that threat out, but because I promised myself that I wouldn't do anything that might hurt them. He has long since been dead, so I don't have to worry abou him overhearing anything.
However, Mich is the one who keeps taking from this relationship, and H is the one who keeps bending over backwards, trying to help her, even now, he's in a hospital bed, and in order to help her talk, he's trying to set the mood, as if they were at headquarters for a debriefing.
Mich, you better wake up, my dear, and realize what you have. He's walked away once, and if you don't watch what you're doing, you and the girls could loose him, again.
(One of the other ladies said this too, but) He's a Lt with the police department, for crying out loud. I'm sure there have been things he's never told you about either, but he's not taking it out on you or the girls. WAKE UP, Mich.
Great chapter, Lucy. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Your friend NV Oracle
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 24, 2009 22:31:10 GMT -10
Oh my.... talk about putting the cat among the pigeons...
So.. Has Mich realised what she needs to do?
Lucy
Chapter 8
Horatio took a moment to think and decided to keep clear of her work for a moment, something told him that Mich wanted to talk, but she was scared for some reason. “Tell me about your controller – no specifics, but why he was able to understand you. You say I stepped into his place – but I didn’t do it intentionally. Are we that alike?”
Mich nodded shyly, “You both encourage me in what I do – support me as much as you can without interfering. Yet when it comes to the tough decisions, you are both strong in what you have to do. When I need consoling or I’m upset by something, you’re both there. It doesn’t matter if I can’t talk about it – you know that something is getting me down and you are there for me.”
“At times when I’m taking too many chances, or crossing the line, you are strict and disciplined enough to pull me back and you’re not afraid to stand up to me when I lose control of my temper.” Mich paused while the porter brought in their breakfast, and Horatio could see that she was getting upset again.
As the tears began to slide, Mich began talking again, “That’s the worst part… I can feel the anger building inside of me, but I can’t always control it. I manage to keep it inside while around the others at the barn, Kate, Nicki – my clients - I fight not to let it show around them. Poor Kyra occasionally gets it, especially as she’s growing older, I can’t help it.”
“Horatio, it’s not that I don’t trust you, I do, but when I get really angry I don’t trust myself – I’m afraid that I’m going to do something that will really hurt someone. My controller understood that – used to let me take my anger out on him, he realised I needed an outlet, I guess I saw that in you too… Took my frustration out on you not to hurt anyone else.”
“It’s what made you leave – isn’t it.”
Horatio sighed, “I couldn’t understand why you were always so angry with me, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to switch off after a hard day and home was becoming more stressful than my job.”
Mich gave a sad smile, “I never wanted to hurt you Horatio, but I know I have driven you away with my actions. I am so sorry to have treated you this way. I never needed to talk to my controller about my work, about why I got angry because he already knew… You didn’t and I couldn’t tell you, I want to try and fix that, but I don’t know how to start without losing my temper and that’s what scares me – what stops me from talking... But I really want to try.”
“Mich, I’ve seen your temper. It’s bad, but not that bad…”
Mich shook her head, “Believe me Horatio, you haven’t seen anything and I hope you never will. Even my controller never saw me at my worst.”
Horatio was curious, “from what you’re saying, you were closer to your controller than most agents get. How come?”
Mich swallowed her tears, “You’ve heard the expression – you hurt the ones you love the most – I guess that’s true for me.”
“You loved your controller?” Horatio was puzzled, if the people at ‘5’ knew about the relationship, they would have ended it quickly so how was Mich able to keep it going for so long?
Mich smiled softly, “Of course I did, I still do. He’s my father.”
&&
Horatio stared at Mich, confused. He had found out that Derek Foster was her father just before Amber was born and the fact had answered a few questions – some of the things he had said when Horatio had called him during the case two years ago. The way Foster had known how Mich would react – and ways to pin her down.
“But I thought your dad was Scotland Yard…”
“He is… The head of a joint operation against the Cartels. He gets news through the police about what is happening on the streets and MI5 information about what is going on at the top, he then co-ordinates any action that needs to be taken. It’s how the UK has been more successful against the dealers over the last 20 years compared to other European countries. It’s why I was brought in for the operation at the start and why he has to keep his cover – if the Cartels ever find out who he is...”
Light dawned in Horatio’s mind, “You weren’t just an escort… If any of the top players turned up later on, it was your job to take them out.”
Mich nodded and remained silent, allowing Horatio time to absorb the news. She had never meant to keep it a secret from him, but at the same time her training and conditioning had prevented her from talking about any of her past – except in the most general way. Now she knew she had to talk, wanted to, she just wasn’t sure how or where to start.
Quietly they ate breakfast, each lost in their thoughts, Horatio trying to see how he could help Mich further, she trying to work out how she could talk to him in return. Suddenly feeling cold, she reached for her sweater that was lying on the chair.
“How long did you sleep?”
Mich shrugged her shoulders indicating that she wasn’t sure, “A few hours maybe.”
Horatio frowned, “Grab a blanket and get some sleep Mich – we can’t do this if you’re tired.” As she looked up he noticed the look on her face and was aware that she was about to reject his suggestion with her need to talk. “If you want me to come home Mich – do as I ask.”
Mich dropped her head and acquiesced immediately, curling up on the chair she was asleep within moments. Horatio sighed, realizing that it was as Mich had admitted – she needed someone in her life to be stronger than she was – to set boundaries to help her keep control.
The thought saddened him a great deal. Mich certainly was a product of her training – just like a highly trained guard dog which would be released on command – some could never become family pets when their working life was over, they were just too dangerous.
As he looked at her his face softened, asleep, Mich was totally relaxed, almost serene and he knew how deep her feelings ran, if only he could bring that softer side to the fore… He took a deep breath – it would be one hell of a challenge, maybe he would even find the real Mich underneath.
He chuckled to himself realizing that he had given in to her wish – he would return to the barn, needed to help the woman he loved – not only for her sake, but for his too. He didn’t know why, but he got the feeling that one day in the future it would be worth it. Pushing the small table to one side, he dropped his head back on the pillow and allowed sleep to claim him. The more he slept now, the faster he would be able to leave – the sooner he could help Mich – he just wouldn’t tell her yet, not until he had found out why she couldn’t control her temper - why she was so scared of her own emotions.
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Post by sanne on Jul 24, 2009 23:05:26 GMT -10
Hmmmm......I'm not yet satisfied with Mich's answers up 'til now. So far I still have the feeling H is working it all out again. And he's also giving in too fast to my liking....he didn't leave for nothing. Again he's making the moves where Mich should be the one doing that. Don't make the decission yet, H.....wait until she's talked to you and let her explanation sink in before you act to it. Sorry, still not on Mich's side. Think she's getting away with it too easy, especially after how she has been treating him...... Sandra
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Post by Dr. Anna McBreadle on Jul 25, 2009 4:03:22 GMT -10
i missed the extra chap yesterday but i have just caught up!
so mich has started to talk! not sure how they will figure things out from here but maybe after they've both had some sleep they can talk a bit more! im still not sure about mich, maybe the effects of her past are coming through but i'm not sure, i think that there is more to it! great chaps lucy! luv sam x
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Post by margaret1234 on Jul 25, 2009 4:47:41 GMT -10
So the other person in Mich's life that she can't speak to in case it breaks his cover is her father. Okay, that is fair enough, but this still does not give me the answer as to why she could not have trusted Horatio before now. She says she wants to trust him, so why can't she. So now she has a need to talk, she expects him to listen just like that. Well done Horatio for giving her an ultimatum of having some sleep or else. Anyone would have to be a saint to live with someone whose temper can get so out of control. Anyway, why does she get so out of control......is it because of something we have yet to learn and will find out when she finishes talking to Horatio. Or, has she always had a temper control problem, in which case why was she ever allowed to get into her line of work.
Looks like Horatio is softening, and I agree just a bit too quickly .
Great chapter Lucy.
Margaret
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Post by Dr. Anna McBreadle on Jul 25, 2009 5:09:06 GMT -10
i have to admit that i used to have major anger issues! alishas dad used to tell me that i need anger management classes but this suggestion only made me even worse! he sometimes had to physically restrain me! i used to do kick boxing as an outlet for the pent up anger but that made me even worse! but since i started to go to the healing centre once a week, for the last two and a half years, im so much calmer! and since i left alishas dad, i've been so much calmer! on the odd occasion something small things can set me off but i have learnt to control it more! i know why i had alot of anger issues which is why i said that i think that there is more to mich's anger than she's letting on! luv sam x
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 25, 2009 5:09:42 GMT -10
Good questions Margaret... As always... and as always, you will get the answers. Don't worry about Horatio though... He might be seeming soft at the moment, and admitted to himself what he is going to do, but he's not going to give in that easily.
Lucy
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Post by NV Oracle on Jul 25, 2009 9:03:23 GMT -10
It didn't sound to me like he was 'just' giving in. I think he knows that there is something more going on that Mich has not told him about.
It'll be interesting to see what else more there is. Great chapter, Lucy.
Your friend NV Oracle
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 25, 2009 23:32:14 GMT -10
So Mich is talking... and as its a Sunday, I thought you might like a WP... with love from Chris..... Lucy Chapter 9 When Horatio awoke, it was to a pair of blue eyes, but much lighter blonde hair than he was expecting. “Kate? Where’s Mich?” The young woman chuckled, “So you do miss her,” giving him a soft smile she continued. “Eric dragged her away to get something to eat – she hasn’t been eating properly since you left the barn. She didn’t want to leave you at first, until Eric threatened to tell you that she hadn’t eaten. She gave in quite quickly then.” Horatio raised an eyebrow, Mich give in to Eric? That was a rare occurrence – so rare that it made him become silent for a moment. A slight noise near the door made him turn and he saw Eric, the grin on his face lighting up his features. “Good to see you awake H, you had us worried for a moment.” Horatio smiled in return, “How’s things at the lab?” Eric chuckled, “I knew you’d ask me that – but I’m under orders not to tell you anything. Cal is going to come and fill you in at the end of the week.” “How’s she doing?” Eric winked, “Had a run- in with Stetler yesterday afternoon – but she sent him away with a fly in his ear – and a warning that if he came to the lab again, or disturbed you, she would arrange for Mich to drag him around the barn at the gallop.” Horatio started to laugh, it was well known in the PD that Stetler was terrified of Mich after a prank at a fund-raising event for a local children’s charity had gone wrong. Mich had brought Storm and two other horses for the kids to ride on and the IA agent had pretended to start them in a race using a horn. One horse, fortunately being held by Kate, had panicked and the child had got a fright. Mich had exploded and grabbed Stetler and thrown him to the ground, pinning him down before saying exactly what she thought of him – all without one swear word and not raising her voice above normal conversation level. Stetler had turned white as a sheet and now avoided Mich at all costs. A fact that Horatio had come to appreciate at other, more formal functions – where he was regarded highly by his peers – and often involved in high level discussions. Discussions that Rick Stetler had no right to be part of, but had – in the past - managed to slide into. A glare from Mich would send him sliding away into a corner, where he would spend the rest of the evening. Another soft chuckle made him smile as he spotted Mich making her way around Eric’s muscular build to his side. “You look better than this morning.” Mich gave him a shy smile, startling him slightly, “Lunch helped… Though not as much as breakfast.” Eric and Kate, realizing that something was going on quietly made their excuses and left. Mich nervously bit her lip and took a deep breath prepared to begin talking again, but wasn’t sure where to start. Horatio caught her hand and gently caressed the back slightly with his thumb. He realized that the episode with Sasha tormented Mich, but didn’t want to go there just yet. Worried that the trauma that it had caused might cause her to stop speaking, he asked a question. “Did you play any part in the second war?” Mich nodded, “Kyra was still young and stayed with my grandmother. I was sent to Iraq on a joint operation with the CIA. The other agent was a hot-head – didn’t want to wait for us to build up our cover. The idiot blew our mission and I barely got out with my life. When I returned home and saw Kyra I knew then I had to get out of ‘5,’ I didn’t want her to grow up as I had done… Without a mother. Mich fell silent for a moment and Horatio gave her the time, knowing that her mother had died in a car accident when she was young. A soft sigh indicated that Mich was ready to continue. “Dad was really happy about it and agreed to try and help me – technically I should have been active for another ten years, but by then Robert had passed on the information about the cartels in Miami – and the CIA wanted me to do the job… You know the rest.” Horatio gave her a soft look, “Having Kyra was the best thing that happened to you…” Mich smiled and nodded her head, “At that time… Yes. Since then there have been other good times… Kyra made me realize that I wanted a normal life – that I had to get out of my line of work… I never realised how hard it was going to be for me to become ‘normal’.” “Dad helped me to negotiate my way out. The Presidential pardon for my work on American soil was his idea. Robert suggested getting his dad involved when he found out that I was the one selected to do the job.” Horatio was surprised, “How did he know?” Mich chuckled, “Dad told him. He knew I had to build my cover and Robert had mentioned the barn years before as a place that he had used to get away from his family. It was quite run-down when I came – but we managed to fix it up. It gave Robert’s dad the opportunity to meet his grand-daughter.” “And to have a safe place for Kyra if anything went wrong…” Mich nodded but said nothing; she had come close to using William Franks for just that purpose before Ryan had found a way out for her. As a thank you she had given Ryan her Katana blades after discovering that he had got interested in Japanese history as a result of the Cartel case. Horatio remained silent, deciding not to continue the discussion further for now. Feigning tiredness, he persuaded Mich that he needed a nap and suggested she return to the barn and come back later with the girls. At first Mich hesitated wanting to remain near him, but he gave her a stern glance which sent her out of the door.
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Post by sanne on Jul 26, 2009 1:16:39 GMT -10
Good to see Kate and Eric coming to see H and even better for Eric not to give any details about the lab and all that's going on there....... Sandra
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Post by Dr. Anna McBreadle on Jul 26, 2009 1:35:13 GMT -10
i couldn't stop laughing at the part with mich and stetler! i think i'd be running scared if she'd done that to me as well!
good to see kate and eric! eric was right not to tell horatio about things at the lab, he needs his rest! mich is slowly opening up to horatio, thats got to be a good thing right?? great chap lucy! luv sam x
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Post by margaret1234 on Jul 26, 2009 4:11:34 GMT -10
Yes, it was nice to see Kate and Eric coming to see Horatio, and good for Horatio's peace of mind that Eric did not tell him about anything going on at the lab. So, we now know the history of how Mich arrived at the barn. And she wanted to continue to talk but Horatio has sent her away to come back with the girls. I don't want him to give in easy, but a bit surprised he took this action. Yes, he obviously wants to see the girls but if MICH is to continue talking surely this would be best out in the open NOW. He is NOT nasty enough to be toying with MICH, so what is his plan here. I am sure he has one. Great chapter and great WP from Chris. Margaret
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Post by lucymalta on Jul 26, 2009 5:01:23 GMT -10
Doesn't he always? Lucy
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